Here’s hoping you read that title and the sleeping lion in you woke up. One thing I’ve been coming to terms with over these last few months is that success is not for the meek and afraid. If you want to see results you have to get serious and getting serious might mean getting seriously out of your comfort zone. The thought alone might get us introverts so anxious you don’t dare to contemplate on it in case you start spiralling. That’s not good enough. So, you take a deep breath and gear up for action because you’ve been dragging your feet too long and damn it if you’re not ready to win already! But how do you begin to conquer?
You have to step out on the other side of fear. When you’re a self diagnosed introvert (‘diagnosed’ because for some this is an illness to cope with/overcome) one of the hardest things to deal with is the dread we create in our own minds. For every situation it’s easy to envisage the absolute worst scenario. “You want me to come to your party?…ok.” Now to spend the next week having cold sweats about having to socialise in crowds of people you only vaguely know and wondering if you were only invited as a practical joke while intermittently brushing up on social queues with the help of Google and memorising ‘playful’ conversation starters so you don’t have to deal with an awkward silence if left alone. See, spiralling; and that’s for situations that are intrinsically meaningless to you.
For things that matter the dread and doomsdaying (new word not yet printed in the dictionary) intensify times ten. But why? Why is it that we’re always most afraid when queuing up for the roller coaster but have the time of our lives when we actually get on the ride? That’s the metaphor for life. You have to step past fear to get to the good stuff. You have to stop giving in to not only your fear, but other people’s fear as well. Why shouldn’t you be part of the 1% that make it? You’re good enough damn it!
You have to stop trying and just ‘do.’ How many times have you given up on some target or other and suffixed it with ‘but at least I tried.’ Sorry to break it to you, but to conquer, that attitude is no longer going to cut it. A suffix is an ending, and ‘but at least I tried’ is the worst cop out of them all. Your aim is to give yourself points for trying, but points for trying aren’t going to get you the win. Every time you fail you have to dust yourself off and try again and again and again until you ‘do.’ That’s it, no more try, just ‘do.’
You have to accept that failing to plan is planning to fail. It’s true. If you’re not clearly strategising, you will not be conquering. Even the biggest brains benefit from making a list from time to time and most of us are working with cells that are just above average so you’ll need to start writing things down. Make clear plans and set goals for yourself so you can track your progress. You get more of a boost when you can see every accomplishment you have ticked off each day, month, year and that’s how you’ll build your confidence. And yes, you can still get points for ticking off ‘make list’ from your list.
You have to dream big and hustle harder. Whatever the dream is, you’ll have to put extra sweat and tears in (blood stains things). To make it to the top of your game you have to always be willing to give more than everyone else. You have to commit to working smarter and harder because the path is long, the escalators are broken and not everyone finished P90x.
You have to start now. Every day you wait is another day wasted without reaching your goal. Even if for now you commit to 20mins a day building your empire, the small wins in the beginning will motivate you to chase big wins in the end.
Conquering is what I’m focusing on in my next chapter. Check back in on Thursday to see how I’m doing.
The Conquering Introvert